Ma caught a video of sister being rushed by a kid and falling in her sari LMAO.

YouTube this shit hahahaha.

Aunty Shahzadi

A friend was surprised I go to parties.

"Wait. Really? What!"

Yoooooooooo, stfu I ain’t no aunty! I’m a 90’s kid alright! Get your surprised face outta here foo!

Hahahaha, it’s the glasses.

Need to get this idea of normality outta my head. Nothing is normal. Common trends exist among people yes but “normal” is a socially constructed idea used to create “in/out” groups.

Been having this issue of deconstructing way too many things lately. Maybe its pre-institutionalized anxiety or maybe I’m just bloody hell excited to pursue my research.

Most likely the latter.

#excite

  • <b> <b></b> </b> Shahzadi, do you think they listen?<p><b></b> Who?<p><b></b> The rich people you fight against.<p><b></b> Probably not because their intent is to silence us and the work we do. They hope we don't exist so we don't put pressure on them to change and stop their exploitation.<p><b></b> So how do you change things?<p><b></b> Years of struggle. I'm not here to see change tomorrow or next year, I'm in this for the long run, years, decades, generations. Things don't change over night. Our goal is to be loud enough so that they can't ignore us. I don't want my children growing up in a racist, oppressive society so I will fight. I will fight for all future generations.<p><b></b> *eyes wide open*<p><b></b> Just a normal afternoon chai conversation with me hahaha.<p><p>

Lunch

I sat near the entrance of the library and quietly ate my lunch in the lobby. Mom made curry (actual curry, not the fabricated term coined to define all “South Asian” food) and rice.

People of all sorts sat around me using the public space and resources. The sound on one of the computers stopped working so a woman kindly asked the desk staff for assistance.

It was quite. People were minding their own business. For vast reasons they were there. I was for once not surrounded by study thirsty students, pounding away at their text books, eyes completely blood shot from all nighters, competing for standardized test results measuring numerical values of success.

Rather, I was with the people.

I never felt so detached from the ivory tower before. The institutional privilege that had always lingered had finally gone away. I felt “normal.” I felt excited.

The lady at the library said I could check out the university libraries for the books I wanted.

I said “no thanks, I’d like to stay as far away and detached from the institution for as long as I can.”

She laughed and handed me my communist manifesto.

Hahaha.

Where to, where to, where to go next year?

That is the question.

The answer is probably somewhere I can keep my sanity.

No where.

Hahaha

Decisions, decisions.

How many public libraries does it take to find Marx, Mao and Foucault? Apparently 3. Got a couple books on hold but walked out with 5.

Happy happy joy :). Felt like I was in grade school all over again!

Why does it rain on days I want to runnnnnnnnnnn.
Need to tone up my belly full of funnnnnnn.